Video News Clips: In Their Own Words

‘I’m In A Deep Pit Of Despair’: Late Night Hosts Melt Down After Trump Wins Second Term

Screenshot/Rumble/CBS

Late night comedy show hosts collectively melted down Wednesday after former President Donald Trump defeated Vice President Kamala Harris in the 2024 presidential election.

Trump secured the 270 electoral votes necessary to win the presidency early Wednesday morning EST. CBS “Late Show” host Stephen Colbert said the results left him “questioning my fundamental belief in the goodness of humanity.”

“All day yesterday, I was walking around proudly wearing my ‘I voted’ sticker. Today, I wore my ‘I am questioning my fundamental belief in the goodness of humanity’ sticker,” Colbert said during his monologue. “They give those out. They give those out at the bake sale right outside. Now, as a late night host, people often say to me, ‘Come on, part of you has gotta want Trump to win because he gives you so much material to work with!. No. No. No one tells the guy who cleans the bathroom, ‘Wow, you must love it when someone has explosive diarrhea. There’s so much material for you to work with!’”

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Colbert also claimed “in this duh-mocracy, the majority has spoken and they said they don’t care that much about democracy.”

“Jimmy Kimmel Live” host Jimmy Kimmel revealed he let his kids cuss about the election results.

“My kids were very upset. You know, every once in a while, when something bad happens, we let our kids curse for 30 seconds. We told them they have 30 seconds to say any word they want, and all the words they choose are curses,” Kimmel told his audience. “So, at breakfast this morning, my wife tells our daughter Jane, who’s upset, she said, ‘You can do it,’ and just as she starts the cursing, our 7-year-old, Billy, comes down the stairs. He’s wearing a black Adidas tracksuit, high tops and a pair of ray-bans. He looks like the fourth member of Run DMC, and he just hears the tail end, he says, ‘What’s going on?’ My wife says, ‘Donald Trump won,’ and he goes, ‘[Bleep].’”

Desi Lydic, a co-host of Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show,” claimed “America decided to get back with her dirtbag ex.” In another segment, Lydic asked other cast members to find words to comfort America over Trump’s re-election.

“I’m sorry, I told myself that this show would be uplifting tonight and give people hope and inspiration. But unfortunately, I’m too depressed and quite frankly, very, very hungover,” Lydic said. “But you know what, I will say, it’s times like these when I can lean on the wisdom and support and the vision of the best… news team in the world.”

“Don’t put that on me! I can’t help anyone! I can barely help myself! I’m in a deep pit of despair. Don’t look at me! I’m still wearing yesterday’s bowtie. I am a mess. Go ask Kosta, he’s been here longer,” Troy Iwata said.

Other co-hosts and cast members also passed.

“You ever go to the clinic thinking you have herpes… and then you find out you do have herpes?” Josh Johnson asked.

“America, I love you. If you are feeling upset, or hurt, or depressed about the turn toward fascism that your beloved homeland is taking, then all you have to do is this: just look into your heart and you take out your foreign passport and you go back to Malaysia, where you came from, until Trump leaves office,” Ronnie Chieng sang, before Lydic pointed out none of the other cast members had Malaysian passports.